Saturday, 19 May 2012

Horror Hotel Cinema : The Giant Claw (1957)

'It looked like a Battleship!!!!'

No, dear, it didn't. At all...

Heres a challenge for you guys....

While watching THE GIANT CLAW, fire back a shot of Scotch (or any other spirit of your choice. I aint fussy), every time someone in the movie refers to the huge-ass monster birdie as being/looking/acting like 'a Battleship'....

I guarantee by the end of the film you'll either be in hospital for alcohol poisoning, dead, or signing up for the twelve steps to addiction recovery and finding Jesus.

How anyone could refer to this big ugly flying bastard of the skies as a 'Battleship' is beyond me. No amount of self medication could ever reshape this monstrosity to look like a damned boat. I dont care how much acid you ingest before viewing.

Theres a good chance that the writers pulled that description out their collective asses on seeing the design of the beast. Its among the most ridiculous, demented looking creatures ever to grace the silver screen, folks.

Any brits our there who remember Emu, the much despised kids character from the 80's will feel a familiar sense of foreboding on viewing this monstrosity. Is it the crappiest beast of all time? Maybe. You'll be hard pressed to find a stranger creation anyplace, anytime, ever.

Just watch it already, and keep telling yourself....its only a movie, only a movie, ONLY A MOVIE!!!!!!

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