Horror Double Bill - CURSE OF CHUCKY (2013) and DARK TOUCH (2013)

It occurred to me recently that I've been treating horror cinema rather harshly of late. Our relationship has never lost that fire, but I've sorta been cheating on the genres cinematic output and focusing my attention far more on the literary side of things. I've been exploring a whole host of new authors, and re-reading some of the greats, and in doing so, I've partially abandoned the wondrous world of film for a time.

Not cool.

Well, its finally our favorite time of year - the fall, and with that comes that old familiar burning desire to vegetate on the sofa with endless buckets of popcorn, and give the better half a reason to dump our sorry, macabre-centric asses and find a more mentally balanced partner. 

I like to believe that for every leave that falls in the autumn, a horror fan somewhere on our crazy planet downs a cold one in honor of Jason, Micheal, Chucky, Freddy, Leatherface et all. Its a good time to be alive, man. And with the change in weather, I've found my second wind...

Yep, I've been watching a shit-ton of dark cinema this past week, and while it ain't all been a skip through a daisy field, there have been some pretty high watermarks to vanquish the bitter memory of the low.

But look, we're all busy here, so I'll cut to the chase...

Time ain't on my side of late, and it pains me to not get the word out about the movies I see, so I thought I'd try a different technique.

The reviews will be shorter than my usual, but hopefully concise, and maybe even point you in the direction of some movies you may have overlooked, or that may have been unfairly treated at the hands of the mainstream critics out there. Any suggestions are welcome, of course, kids.

So, no more foreplay...lets get on the bed.

Review : The Conjuring (2013)

Well hello again! 

The Horror Hotel is re-open for business. 

The perils of a new job, a new lifestyle, and taking a kicking from an 'as-yet-unspecified' illness, have led me to distance myself from the world of horror for a spell. I've been reading horror literature like a beast, (take a bow, Bryan Smith),  but I haven't really been grooving on the genres cinematic output. Too much going on, as it were. A mind unsettled makes for a poor companion in the cinema stalls...

That all changed when, out of the blue, I learned about a new horror film; (a ghost story to be precise), centered around the famous paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, (they of Amityville notoriety). A movie based on what they personally felt was their most disturbing case, and one kept under wraps until very recently, (and I won't divulge any details here). How could I resist? I love a good paranormal tale, even though by daylight I'm as skeptical and logical about such matters as can be; there's just something inherently terrifying on a primal level about a well-told spook story that never fails to freeze me blood and cut my imagination loose. As a rule, I always watch ghost stories alone, in the dark, with the shadows creeping around my shoulders for maximum effect as, (and all you horror aficionados will agree, I'm sure), it gets very hard to find effectively scary material out there. The more you watch and are exposed to; the less you tend to morph into a squealing little bitch.

Double Review : The Walking Dead - Season 3 - Episodes 11 and 12

Here be spoilers. Enter of your own free-will.

I AIN'T A JUDAS

After the tension and terror of last weeks finale, you'd be forgiven for thinking that we;d be hurtling straight ahead into the war between Rik and Phil, but not so. That vicious little play by The Gov was nothing more than a prelude to a bloody, feral kiss. And like all kisses worthwhile...its the waiting that really makes it worthwhile.

This weeks episode trades action and horror for character and nostalgia, as we slow down, catch our breath, and spend some time with our gang. Its an almost action-free zone, but only if you consider excellent set-up, character interactions that sizzle, and a re-union of long lost buddies to be lacking in action. Not to mention, we finally learn the whereabouts of Tyreese and his chums, and its quite a shocker.

The main focus of I AIN'T A JUDAS, is in fact, Andrea. Now before this gets your titties in a twist, it should be stated that for the most part, she merely acts as a conduit for the coming events. Like most of the season, she remains frustratingly indecisive, but whereas before now, many have saw her lack of horror at Phil's actions as baffling...now its taking on a different tone, and one that altogether more satisfying, and interesting.

First of all, I should say that I have little problem with Andrea. She hasn't been clued into what we, the audience, know about Woodbury, and yes, shes made some fucking stupid choices but I'd bet my bottom dollar many of us would make the same choices. After a year on the road, starving and, well, dying...I;d be more than willing to overlook a head-aquarium if it meant I could get some fucking sleep, a decent meal, and even a chance to get laid. Phil's a pretty convincing guy, and when you look at the whole situation through her eyes, its an easy spell to fall under.

All that's changed now, as she finally learns just how cruel, devious and downright fucking murderously crazy this guy really is..and from her old friends no less...

Although its far from a happy re-union. Its a very enjoyable one, as we get to see the group through Andrea's eyes. After all, last time she saw these folk they were rellatively well-rounded individuals hanging out on a farm. Now they're all sorts of fucked up. Not to mention, Rik treats her like a stranger, and she's lost the trust of most of the group, but the mission they give her is the meat on the bone here. In short, they give her a sharp blade and a few ideas about how to handle the Phillip situation. Carol in particular shines in these scenes, as we grasp just how damn tough and no-nonsense shes become, Again though, its the dilemma that really hits. In short...kill the fucker in his sleep and lets all move on with life.

Now, we soon come to learn that while some part of her desires to do it, she cant go through with it. Its a pretty tantalising moment, as Andrea is no longer living n the dark. Shes fully aware of whats at stake...the lives, the violence, (hell, even the kids may die, as The Gov is now recruiting his very own Hitler Youth), and yet she still cant do it. Some will view this as typical Andrea nonsense, but I think it gives new dimensions to her character...

Does she love him? Is she gong to stand by his side, no matter what? Knowing what she knows, will she take up arms against her previous group?

Shes finally been afforded a bona-fide moral dilemma, and I'm invested in her more than at any previous time since season one.

Other moments of not this week are the brilliant scene between Hershell and Merle, where we get to watch these two accomplished actors eat up the scenery with their performances. Its also a helluva lot of fun having Merle in the group, and his humanity, what little there is of it, is peeking through the curtains. The situation that Tyreese's group find themselves in is a neat one too, and will pat off some way down the line when the choice comes on whether to raise arms against Rik, (who could blame them), or learn the truth about Woodbury, (not quite as likely). No doubt the two assholes in his group will join up with The Gov, but Tyreese? Who can say?

For zombie-addicts, there is very little on display this week, though there are two things worth mentioning...theres a scene where Andrea takes a leaf about Michonnes book and 'de-claws' a zombie, (yep...that;s what I'm calling it), that is as brutal and gruesome as anything the shows offered up. Also, theres a really subtle addition of zombies in the distance in nearly every scene which really heightens the atmosphere and the sense that any conversation or interaction must be quick, as the shambling dead are ever vigilant. Its a clever choice and I hope we see a lot more of it in the future.

I AIN'T A JUDAS is a crossover episode, but its one that's deceptively full of new information. Its a prefect set-up for whats to come, and it sets the stage for some clever moral dilemma's as our groups play this life and death game of 'musical chairs'.

Oh, and the dressing down of Rik, by not only Hershell but by his own son, too? Brilliant. Emotional conflict is every bit as important in THE WALKING DEAD as is chaos and action. Another great episode in an arguably flawless season.

CLEAR

Episode twelve comes as a complete surprise in that it eschews the main story altogether for a more nuanced, even-paced snippet of life in the land of the dead. Arriving under the multi-faceted title, CLEAR, is an full-tilt example of THE WALKING DEAD at its very best. In many ways its the shows most resonant and powerful episode since the pilot. Content, atmosphere, depth and character all take precedent here; and coupled with some of the best writing the show has ever boasted and a striking performance from the mighty Lennie James, this very well may be the shows high-water mark thus far.

True, its potency would be lessened without the context in which we view it, but after three long years of watching Rik's unending journey into a darker world, its bittersweet and deeply sad to return to where it all began, and to have a light shone on just how damaging this world has become to the psyche's of those left to rot, while still breathing. It also stands as a brilliant reminder of what Andrea must have experiences last week. For us, the audience, this is our first trip back to visit Duane. And like Andrea viewed the group...with fresh eyes and no idea what hell has transpired...so do we view our old pal.

CLEAR works as a stand alone episode, (or would make a particularly excellent double-bill with the pilot), in that it leaves behind most of the characters we know and love/hate, and focuses solely on the trio of Rik, Carl and Michonne. Of course, the return of Duane is a powerful development, but this is less his story than it is a singular story detailing just how far the apocalypse has pushed Rik out there. Daune acts a particularly crazy mirror, and helps us better understand Rik's ongoing transformation, (and just where he may end up if he's not careful). But this episodes bulk is all about understanding Rik, and how he's come to interact with those around him.

In taking the enigmatic Michonne along for the ride, CLEAR manages to breath new life into her one-note character. Within the stories runtime, we get to see a side of her thats been well and truly hidden until now. I would say its long overdue, but in truth, the thawing of her heart towards these people is all teh more powerful, and uplifting, because of the time its taken. I never thought I'd use the word 'uplifting' to describe THE WALKING DEAD, but there are glimmers of light in this episode that whisper to us that all is not yet lost for Rik. Every bit as importantly, the same can b said for both Carl and Michonne. No one hear is untouched by the horrors they endure. Yet the shows underlying theme of unity really comes to the fore here, and its god-damned refreshing to feel a little sun on your face when all is so dark.

Between this episode and the previous chapter, the story has slowed from its breakneck pace to give way to some very unexpected nostalgia. A sort of nostalgia that is bot thrilling for the viewer yet unquestionably painful as we see how things have changed for these people. And two of the characters most in need of some real substance have been given the upgrade.

Michonne has rooted herself firmly in my fave characters now. As what once appeared to be lack of depth is turning out to be the exact opposite. She and Rik have real chemistry, as does she and Carl, (who continues to impress as an ever-evolving bad-ass-with-a-heart), and its easy to view the three of them as a perfect tough-as-nails nuclear family for the zombie age.

The set design in also impeccable in CLEAR, with Duane's domain looking like a survivalists wet dream meshed with a padded cell. Theres a real post-apocalyptic vibe going on there that really sells the idea of this once picturesque town going all to shit. And as I mentioned earlier, Lennie James is just fantastic as Duane. We're given a vivid interpretation of a man pushed way over the edge, and the scene between he and Rik as he described just how his boy went out, and expresses some home truths about the world they inhabit, would be the episodes highlight, were it not for its finale.

We open with a hitchhiker, and one whom our trio steadfastly refuse to acknowledge. Its cold, its disheartening, but its realistic and in keeping with tone. As we see him disappear in their rear-view mirror, the scene feels complete, but in a somewhat genius move...the episode ends with our gang making the journey back. Not only do we have a grin-inducing scene that hints at redemption for our heroes, but not ten seconds later, we learn the fate of the hitchhiker. The poor bastards been slaughtered. Our characters don't miss a beat...no emotion is betrayed. This in itself would be perfect, but in the final shot we see their vehicle reverse, as they stop to retrieve his backpack. Its cold, blackly funny, simple and brilliantly evocative of where we're going with these guys. With no words, it says a great deal, and very quickly knocks the warmth from our hearts, or at the very least dims the flames.

So, we've had an episode that reflects the calm before the coming storm, (and sets things up nicely with heroes on all damn sides), and an episode that actually knocks the quality of the whole damn thing up several notches. This has been the quiet before the cacophony. And in a season that has rarely paused for breath, its been a well-judged move on the creators. I AIN'T A JUDAS has finally given Andrea something vital to do, and set up some allegiances that i don't think anyone saw coming, and CLEAR....well, CLEAR is just fucking perfection. This season just keeps getting better and better. The stakes are incredibly high now, and everyone's potentially on the slab. With only four episodes to go...the end is coming, and its gonna get messy.

And did anyone else notice that sheet in Morgan;s lair that said, 'Not Shitting you' on one side, and on the side with the bloody axe, said, 'Told you'? That was just fucking awesome...

No score required, as always.


Authors Note : Its been brought to my attention that this episode was written by the new Showrunner He also wrote some of season 2's standout episodes, including EIGHT MILES OUT, (another semi-standalone tale), and PRETTY MUCH DEAD ALREADY....this bodes pretty damn well for next season, despite my loyalty to Glen Mazzara's vision.

Review : HITCHCOCK (2012)

As NORTH BY NORTHWEST opens to great acclaim, an ageing Alfred Hitchcock begins to suspect he may be losing his touch. In his clamour for inspiration and something truly challenging, he comes across a little-known horror novel about a boy and his mother...a novel called PSYCHO...

Yeah, yeah...I know. It's not a horror movie, I hear you cry. That's as may be, but it centres around one of the greatest horror films ever made, (and perhaps one of the few authentically perfect movies in existence), and it deals with a man synonymous with the genre. Therefor, its getting reviewed, kids. Not only for these aforementioned reasons, but because it's a portrait of a man I have unbounded love and admiration for, and it put a grin on my mug a mile wide, and what better way to start a new year of reviews than with a film that had got me giddy as a schoolboy?

HITCHCOCK is not a film your gonna watch for any real depth or insight into the soul of this great master of horror and suspense. It's not a concise and detailed look at the film-making process, either. Theres very little of historical value here, other than surface anecdotal whimsy and the retelling of legend in a totally biased and celebratory fashion. Nope, what you get with HITCHCOCK is a surrealistic and very humorous glimpse into the situation this immortal big fat bugger found himself in, as the years began to catch up on him. What baring of the soul is witnessed by the viewer comes almost fully from our preconceived notions of the man, and in this case, (much like ED WOOD), that's no bad thing.

If your looking for a dark, intimate study of a man who was, by all accounts, a bit on the crazy side, then your in the wrong place. But if, like me, the mere mention the man puts a smile on your face and a song in your heart, then this is candy-corn and carnivals, folks. It really is a ninety minute celebration of perhaps the most single-minded sonofagun who ever directed a motion picture. A true one-off, and a man whose cunning and wit wit simply makes any scene featuring him a joy to behold.

And there really is no end to the brilliant moments here. Hitchcock whining for a drink as Alma forces him to do the gardening...his endless flirtation with Janet Leigh...his temper tantrums on set...his blaring of classical music while he enjoys cream-cake and Warner Bros cartoons...it's all gold.

At the centre of all this joviality is a man who is no stranger to horror, himself, Anthony Hopkins...and he plays old Hitch to perfection. It would have been easy to stray into caricature as so many actors do when portraying characters as colorful as big Al, (of which there are very few), but Hopkins knows how to toe the line. He plays up Hitch's many famous idiosyncrasies, while keeping the man grounded in authentic human emotion. He's simply fantastic, and he should be...he's helped by some extraordinary make-up that makes him a near dead-ringer for Hitch. As his long-suffering and fiercely intelligent wife, Alma, Helen Mirren is bang on the money. They have great chemistry, and help keep the scenes that deviate from the lightness of tone very palatable. It may be seen as a flaw that so much of the film is focused on their relationship, but at heart, HITCHCOCK is a love story. A very sweet, somewhat seasoned tale of two soul-mates, and the shit they put each other through in this weird old life. As a couple, they are never less than delightful.

And they have fine support, too. Scarlett Johansson is spot-on as Janet Leigh...both erotic and approachable, (much to Alma's misfortune), and the fella who plays Anthony Perkins is shockingly brilliant. He looks and acts exactly like the man. Its, frankly, uncanny. Though, make no mistake, as good as the support is, this is really a two-hander, and their relationship fuels the two intertwining plots overwhelmingly.

Of course, many if not all of you are less interested in Hitch's marriage than in the telling of how his arguably finest movie, (and first foray into pure horror), came to be born, ...and you wont be disappointed. Theres a real spirit of nostalgia in the scenes of filming, and the lead-up, as Hitch does battle with the evil forces of Paramount and its half-witted producers, is every bit as enthralling as the scenes of the man directing. Theres always been something gleefully mischievous about Hitchcock's persona, and in these early scenes, (and in later post-production scenes), its made clear how well this wily old dogs wits served him in his unending fight to retain complete control over his movies. And thank God he did. There are few things as gratifying in this life as seeing an true artist overcome the bureaucrats that hold them back, and HITCHCOCK playfully details our heroes manipulation of these monkeys, celebrating his victories with abandon.

There are a few darker elements in here, (Hitchcock's anger with his wife seems to fuel his directing of PSYCHO into a more vicious work than even he had contemplated, and his infamous obsession with his leading ladies is centre-front throughout the tale), but the overall tone is one of creativity and play. In one inspired storytelling choice, Alfred often holds imaginary conversations with true-life serial killer, Ed Gein, (the inspiration for PSYCHO, among other horror works, including SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, as it happens), seeking inspiration and understanding. Its an unnecessary but very entertaining method of bringing us closer to the man.

Another wonderful flourish within the tale is the style in which Alfred and Alma's relationship is told. As Hitch begins to suspect his long-time love of having an affair with her smarmy bastard of a writer friend; the film plays out like a Hitchcock suspense film. The overwrought music recalls the great work of Bernard Herman, as the portly directors suspicion grows; and its hilarious, culminating in a fantastic moment where he expresses to Alma in his trademark deadpan way, that, 'Every man is capable of murder, and with good reason'. He states this mid-argument, mind you, as she removes a cream-cake from his person.

Now, if that last sentence put a smile on your face, then you obviously know your Hitchcock, and your guaranteed to love this thing. For those unfamiliar with his work or his legend, (the hell is wrong with you!?), the film may be far less charming. In truth, though, if your unaware of Alfred Hitchcock you have no place near a cinema screen in the first place. Just saying...

A little too much screen-time is spent detailing Alma's situation with her admirer. We really only need the bare minimum of these two together to understand that shes frustrated in her life, that time could have been put to far better use with Hitch doing, well, anything, but its a small bit of gristle in an otherwise hugely enjoyable steak. It's hard to complain.

Overall, HITCHCOCK is ninety minutes of fresh summer air. It's not a serious take on the man, nor is it trying to be...its a period piece with real colour and vibrancy, and a character study that isn't afraid to simply revel in its larger-than-life protagonist and focus on fun. It's absolutely hilarious from start to finish, and never once sinks into maudlin situations or mundane excess. The tempestuous relationships at its core, (both between Hitch and Alma, and Hitch and the studio), are buoyant and light-footed, and, (as you all know how PSYCHO went down) the tale ends on a beautifully romantic and victorious high. This is some great fun, right here, guys. It had me at, 'Good evening'.....

8 Shower Curtains out of 10

Review : The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 3 - Walk With Me

After two enthralling weeks spent inside the progressively desperate minds of Officer Rik Grimes and his motley crew of survivors; THE WALKING DEAD takes a bold, first-time venture,( and a risky one at that) By casting its gaze far from the wonderfully bleak prison setting and our long-suffering gang for an entire episode, and focusing on opening up the world in which the tale is set; the risk pays off in dividends. This is one of the very best episodes since the shows debut.

While its initially strange to realise that the only anchors to familiarity in 'Walk With Me', will be Andrea, and to some degree her new best buddy, and fan-favorite, Michonne; we soon settle into this fresh, unfolding story, and it's every bit as engaging as the prison.

We pick up where we left of in the season premier with Michonne and Andrea struggling day to day to keep breathing. Andrae is dangerously ill, and no place feels safe. When they spot a downed helicopter and investigate, they find they are not teh only souls out there in the rot and ruin who are curious about the crash. Two cars pull up, and out step a group of well armed, healthy looking and potentially deadly men. Its a thrilling opening.

Not least because, finally, we meet the man himself....The Governor.

Its been a long time coming. Fans have been salivating for this most infamous of villains for quite some time now, and he doesn't disappoint. Needless to say, he's portrayed with perfect poise and predatory menace by David Morrisey. What we have here is perhaps the shows most complex and layered character so far. This is no black and white bad guy. He's all shades of grey...equal parts charming and dedicated politico and cold-hearted psychopathic bastard. A very hard man to read.

In fact, for most of the episode, those unaware of just who this guy is, will most likely find him perfectly likable, even admirable. Some of you may still feel the same way come the episodes chilling and surprising finale. Getting a bead on this guy is like catching mist in the palm of your hand. Where the character will go is unknown, but its a tantalizing prospect having this particular leader bump heads with Rik

After all, we soon learn that somehow, this particular community leader has managed to reclaim a small slice of cicilisation. He has created a well-gaurded community with no less than seventy three members, including women, children and even family pets. He has electricty up and running. Fresh water. A medical team. A well-trained and well armed team of guards, (including a familiar face to long-time viewers), and a safe and idyllic way of life awaiting those he chooses to bring into the fold.

Alternativly, Rik has a filthy prison block, very little food, ten or so survivors, no direction, a rapidly deteriorating sense of civility and for a medical outfit, he has a one-legged, half-dead veterinarian and a grieving mother who performs caesarian sections on zombies. Its easy to choose which team you may wanna play for, given the opportunity....

Though things are not what they seem in the picture perfect town on Woodbury. Safety and comfort come at a cost, as we come to realize in a shocking and powerful scene that, in effect, re-introduces this mysterious 'Governor' in a more true form. This is a man who's willing to do anything to protect his people, or is that to protect his power?

Thats the beauty of such a character...we have no idea, (unless we're readers of the comics, of course. And that aint no gaurentee, either), of where this guy is going. So far, he's a moral conundrum. Dedicated and driven, but by what? Hints at a past tragedy suggest this may be a damaged soul looking to do some good in this brave new world, but we all now how power corrupts, and in a town where the hierarchy goes unquestioned; tyranny can easily find a dark place to nestle.

The episode ends on some chilling imagery that poses more questions than it answers about this enigmatic, imposing man, and it leaves us breathless to know more.

Throw into the mix a creepy scientist, a susceptible Andrea, and the first real scenes of character development for the fierce Michonne, and you have a stone cold winner that points to a very bright and emotionally and intellectually engaging future for the show.

There is very little zombie action in 'Walk With Me', and its a good thing. The first two episodes were action heavy, and while its a blast, we want to know these people. This one is all character and story. If the pace is slowed down, the sense of dread and trepidation is sped up, and our understanding of whats at stake living in this nightmare world, is deepened.

THE WALKING DEAD season three continues its stellar run and has found the seemingly perfect balance of action and suspense, and is only growing more thrilling, and dark, with each progressive episode. The show has hit its stride and then some. With the world opening up to endless possibilities for moral and physical conflict, and with Rik's first truly formidable opponent looming large over proceedings, the show can only go from strength to strength.

Fight the dead by all means, but for Gods sake, fear the living...

All hail The Governor.

10 Aquariums out of 10

Review : Paranormal Lack of Activity 4 (2012)

Authors Note : First of all, lemme just say HAPPY HALLOWEEN to everyone!

Sorry it's so belated, but my Internet was down for an extended period of time, and unfortunately, it happened just as our fave time of year came calling. So be it, gotta take the rough with the smooth, man. I did manage to watch a ridiculous amount of Horror during the season, as is my duty and my passion, and have a tidy little backlog of films to set about reviewing, (including, of course, THE WALKING DEAD S3E3). Bear with me folks. Now, onto the first of this months reviews....

Oh, and this review/rant will feature some spoilers, as its impossible to detail the films myriad flaws without exploring some of the plots more ridiculous twists. I'll keep the spoilers to a minimum, guys, although there's really nothing to spoil.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4, should you not already be aware of this, is a full-tilt  disaster. I'll just throw that out there right off the bat for anyone who may be about to make the dire mistake of paying to see this nonsense. I'll give my reasons why its such a mess in due time, but in the slim chance your glancing at this review just as your putting on your jacket and heading for the door; mark my words.....do NOT pay to see this thing.

Buy something nice for your better half. Buy some Scotch and drink yourself good-looking. Hell, give your money to that homeless fella with the winning smile outside your local cornershop. I guarantee you'll feel better about yourself for doing it, and he deserves it a fuck-sight more than the makers of this franchise killer, even if he is sniffing bath-salts.

Speaking of the franchise; I'm a fan, by the way...

Review : The Walking Dead - Season 3 Episode 1 -Seeds (2012)

It looks like the writers and creators of THE WALKING DEAD have been listening to the fan's concerns, and listening good...

I don't mean the haters or the trolls; those strange creatures will continue to pick apart anything and everything that the rest of us love about this phenomenal show. No, I'm talking about the real fan's... the people, and we are legion, who are critical without being ridiculous.

It's no secret that a lot of folk's out there were turned off to some degree by season 2 of the show. Myself, I loved it like I love my jerky, but I can admit that it had some pacing issues and some of the writing was a little uneven. I had no problem with the episodes that featured a sparsity of the munching dead, and I came to care for all the right characters and find frustration with all the wrong ones. Shane was a fascinating guy, as were Darryl and Rik. I had a few issues with Carl's worth, but lets face it, he was a kid; scared and untrained. Lori was the cat who caused the most scratches on the couch, and while I often couldn't abide her actions, I found it easy to go along with her uneven behaviour. After all, I've never been in a fucking zombie apocalypse, so who am I to judge?

Still, while my love and admiration for the show and the cast never diminished, (and I've yet to meet anyone outside of an Internet forum who feels any different), the show clearly had the potential to rise to even greater heights.

With the opening episode of season 3, it's looks like it's reached them.

Glen Mazzara and his team are now in full control of the show, and this, let it be said, is a very good thing. There was a notable increase it quality in the last season when these guys took over, and its clear that its continuing into this new chapter of our tale of survival, moral disintegration and death. The show feels entirely fresh, with a much more focused intent on character nuance, action and suspense. This time, it all just feels much more balanced.

Now, I know its only one episode into the season, but it's very heartening to see our characters all become far more likable than we've come to know them. Time has passed, in our absence, (a very wise move by the creators), and our desperate group of survivors have all grown while we waited. A harsh winter has passed, and everyone has found their inner strength. Lets just look at a few of the great changes this episode brought....

The women are no longer delegated to side characters or spare wheels. The washing of dishes has been replaced by determination, courage, ability and yes, even a sense of humour about their situation. A scene between Darryl and Carol is amongst the shows warmest and funniest in its entire run; now who would've thought that? Also, we have the much heralded entry of Michonne into the mix, who can only further the female empowerment the show is now portraying. While there will surely be time for cooking and cleaning, (and it looks like these poor bastards could all use a good wash), the girls of the group now know how to fend for themselves, and have much greater worth to the group. Its a very good sign of things to come.

And what about the two main gripes that were aimed at season 2 ad-nausea...Lori and Carl?

Well, in the months that have been endured in the land of the dead, Carl appears to have become the son Rik needs him to be. He's put aside childish things and is taking the right steps to becoming a man. And Lori....Lori, by some miracle, was sympathetic in this episode. The writers have used the negative attention towards her character to help push her story arc, (and that of her families) in new directions. She realizes she fucked up, and seems so much more humble, and human, now.

As for her long-suffering husband, and the shows 'dead center', Rik has grown much colder, much more capable and much more complex. His scenes with Lori hint at an inner anger having usurped his despair. His relationship with Carl is far more realistic, too, and its very clear to see that he's become the harsh leader we all knew he should, and could, become. There are a number of very telling scenes in which Rik merely glares at characters when questioned, and in the opening scenes, his actions as a starving Carl pries open a tin of cat food speak much louder than words would, as do the expression of his group. No-one is talking back. They all now know he's their only real hope for spiritual and physical survival, and they accept his authority without question, (so far). All the while Rik never loses his compassion, or his well honed moral compass. At least, not yet...

And what of the new prison setting? Its as imposing, claustrophobic and bleak as we all hoped it would be. There are some fantastic scenes that take place in its dark, foreboding corridors. The episode finale, in which the group navigate its labyrinthine, pitch-black corridors using only torches, is the most suspenseful moment in the show since a much less experienced Rik got his sorry ass stuck under that tank way back in the day. The prison is going to be a fantastic setting this season, and as we all know, it'll be contrasted by a certain, simple-living town run by a lovely guy who goes by the name of, 'the Governor'. There's much to look forward to, folks.

As I mentioned earlier, there is a much stronger balance here between action and drama, and the action scenes do not disappoint. There may be more zombie killing in this episode than all of season two combined, yet thanks to great writing, it never becomes overbearing. This never has been, and never will be, a mindless romp focused on constant action and gore, (thank heavens), but its truly exciting to see the group kick some serious undead ass. The violence here, which is through the roof, helps to build character, and that's the key to making this show work.

The effects are as great as ever, and it seems with the shows success they may be allowed to go a little further, as this one felt right up there with Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD. It was bloody as hell, with faces sliding off, rotten, half eaten corpses, too many, (and too varied), kills to count and a final scene that just kicks your teeth in, and leaves us on a brilliant cliffhanger. This is horror heaven, right here, troops, and we should all rejoice.

THE WALKING DEAD has been great from the beginning, and despite some flaws, its always had a very loyal, loving fan base. Its brought people to the genre that previously thought horror to be stale and thoughtless, and its upped the stakes in what we expect from horror, both on television and in theaters. We should raise a glass to Mazzara and his team; they've listened, they've cared, and they've acted accordingly, and we get to reap the fine rewards. I can't see anyone outside the forum trolls, being disappointed. Its as good as TV gets. Exciting, pulse-pounding, scary and dark as hell. This is what horror is all about. And we still have The Governor to look forward to....

High hopes indeed...bring on the next episode!!!

(Authors Note : I'll be reviewing the rest of the season as it airs, so stay tuned for more reviews, guys. Love, Kyle)

10 Owl-Burgers out of 10

Review : Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

Director:

Bradley Parker

Writers:

Oren Peli (screenplay), Carey Van Dyke (screenplay), and 2 more credits »

Stars:

Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski and Olivia Dudley

If there has ever been a location that's tailor made for horror fiction, it's Chernobyl and the surrounding area, most notably the city of Prypyat. Its a location that send chills up the spine without any need for embellishment or enhancement. A real world place succumbed to a tragedy that disturbs and disquiets at our most base instinctual level. The awful accident that happened there is still ongoing, some twenty five years later, the countless lives destroyed, the unnatural births, the fight to keep that damned reactor from leaking....all downright freaky, (and saddening) shit.

The beautiful township of Prypyat, where the majority of the nuclear facilities workers lived, with their families in tow, has become legend. After days of exposure to high levels of radiation, the poor souls who lived there were eventually given the truth about the accident that happened only two miles from where they fed their kids. Evacuation was immediate, and within 40 or so hours, the once vibrant and beautiful city was nothing more than a ghost town; ready to be reclaimed by nature, and never to be filled with human life again. It remains to this day a testament to man's folly, and in case your unaware of the place, (shame on you), just go look it up. For me, its like peering through a looking glass into our inevitable future. One day, all cities will be like this. We're humans.We'lll fuck up again on a far grander scale, (remember Fukishima?). It's in our nature, and it gives me the shits.

Review : Silent House (2011)

Directors:

Chris Kentis, Laura Lau

Writers:

Gustavo Hernández (film "La casa muda"), Laura Lau (screenplay)

Stars:

Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese and Eric Sheffer Stevens
 
Trapped inside her family's lakeside retreat, a young woman finds she is unable to contact the outside world as events become increasingly ominous in and around the house

I never caught the original SILENT HOUSE, and in truth, I had no real desire to catch this American remake. For one thing, a remake so soon after the original always feels like an insult to audiences intelligence to me, (yes, we can read subtitles; just release the original work), and as the films whole 'hype', if you will, was based around the fact that it is filmed, or at least appears to be filmed, in one continuous take. In short, its a gimmick, and to be quite frank, i couldn't give a good fuck about gimmickry, in any form, (unless William Castle is behind it). I'm interested in story, plot development, atmosphere and character. Without those things all fitted in place, bravado camerawork and directorial flourish really doesn't appeal to me. The story is God, if you will. SILENT HOUSE, in concept, sounds, (and is), pretty familiar ground. At its core, its essentially a home invasion movie, with an undercurrent on supernatural mystery to sweeten the taste. I dig these films, but they have to bring something fresh to the table. MOTHERS DAY, INSIDE, IL'S/THEM......now those are home invasion movies.

Horror Hotel Cinema : The Maze (1953)

A slice of homegrown horror for you tonight...

Well, not quite, though this quaint and atmospheric little chiller is set in the remote Scottish Highlands, I'm purdy sure it wasn't filmed there. This is studio bound as they come, folks. And you all know what that means.....fog, great lighting, picturesque as hell, and Gothic as all get out. Good times, old chaps!

The plot revolves around a dashing Scotsman, played by the ever excellent Richard Carlson, (THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE), who is heir to a spooky Scottish castle, and breaks off his engagement to some hot 50's dame to return to the family estate after learning his uncle has went to the big caber-tossing competition in the sky. Said ladyfriend doesn;t hear from the fella in weeks, and decides to go investigate the situation for herself. Soon, she's up to her flapjacks in misty mountains, crumbling castles, aging actors and macabre mazes. And you, the audience, are in for a fun, old-timey ride.

Admittedly, its a little slow to get going, but Carlson holds the interest with a fine performance, and when the action does shift to my bonnie home-world, things pick up pretty quickly. Its a spooky, atmospheric work, and it has a very entertaining and worthwhile finale. And yes, that means its ridiculous and features a cheap, rubber beastie!

So, stop reading, and start viewing.

And stay the fuck away from Haggis....

Review : The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Director:

Drew Goddard

Writers:

Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard

Stars:

Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth and Anna Hutchison

Five college buddies head out to a remote cabin for a weekend of beer, weed, sex and general grooviness, but soon after arriving, they find that, well, I'm not telling....

This will probably be a very short review, folks, and for good reason. If like myself, your a wise and experienced soul, you'll know to avoid all trailers, spoilers and amatuer reviews of this little ditty, (and horror in general, as it happens). Its a film that simply sings if you know nothing about it going in. Hell, it sings anyway, loudly and beautifully. The impact is far greater though, if your out of the loop entirely.

Its no secret by now that what seems like a template horror scenario is turned upside down, spun around, shot full with head-fuckery and let loose on the populace, but boy, does the film impress, hyped or not. This is what horror cinema is all about people. Its a perfect example of why the genre inspires so much love in its audience. Its creativity is boundless, its execution is perfect in every single way, and its just about the most fun I've ever had watching a horror movie in my life.

Review : Nailbiter (2012)

 

Director:

Patrick Rea

Writers:

Patrick Rea, Kendal Sinn

Stars:

Joicie Appell, Emily Boresow and Jason Coffman

I first heard NAILBITER being described as being very much like an early X-Files episode. You know, one of those 'monster of the week' numbers that many of us enjoyed so much back in the day. And while its true that it is reminiscent of one of those ideas, NAILBITER, sadly, the comparison only runs as far as its idea's.

It begins promisingly enough, with a slightly dysfunctional family, (one mother, three daughters), being caught up in the eye of a tornado and having to take refuge in the basement of a seemingly abandoned house out in the countryside. Once the storm passes, the family find that they are not alone, and are being held against their will in the basement by someone/something unknown.

Review : The Corridor (2010/2012)

 

Director:

Evan Kelly

Writer:

Josh MacDonald

Stars:

Stephen Chambers, James Gilbert and David Patrick Flemming

If any further proof were needed that low-budget, independent cinema is the breeding ground for intelligent and unique horror, THE CORRIDOR should put all lingering doubts to rest and seal the deal once and for all. What will understandably first appear as yet another cheap exploitation flick very quickly subverts all expectations and rises above the crowd to become one of the most thoughtful, disturbing and resonant horror films in recent years.

The plot, going in, feels bare bones and time-worn....a group of lifelong friends are invited to a remote cabin in the woods by one of their number; an estranged friend who, one year previous, went a little insane after watching his mother die, and struck out violently at his friends as they tried to help him. The friends all arrive at the cabin to find their old buddy awaiting them, and as the already fragile groups distrust in their once beloved companion increasingly fractures, blood begins to flow....

Sounds like standard slasher fare, right? Well, THE CORRIDOR uses this simple set-up as a jumping point for a tale that goes to some very dark, completely surprising places. Its a film made crafted with skill, intellect and poise.

Review : The Raven (2012)

Director: 

James McTeigue

Writers: 

Ben Livingston (screenplay), Hannah Shakespeare(screenplay)

Stars:

 John Cusack, Alice Eve and Luke Evans

When a madman begins committing horrific murders inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's works, a young Baltimore detective joins forces with Poe to stop him from making his stories a reality.

For fans of the writing of Edgar Allan Poe, THE RAVEN is probably gonna go only one of two ways. Its either gonna be seen as a shallow, exploitative piece that pisses on the truth of the great man, or its gonna be seen as some harmless Hollywood hokum that plays loose with a heroic historical figure for entertainments sake.

Me...I'm not sure where I stand at the moment. I think I'm on the side of finding the whole thing a little insulting to the mans legacy, but at the same time, I'm a sucker for a good Gothic mystery, and the concept of this one is a doozy.

Review : The Pact (2012)

Director:

Nicholas McCarthy

Writer:

Nicholas McCarthy

Stars:

Caity Lotz, Casper Van Dien and Agnes Bruckner

As a woman struggles to come to grips with her past in the wake of her mother's death, an unsettling presence emerges in her childhood home.

Good ghost stories are few and far between, so you may be inclined to bypass the latest American offering in the sub-genre, THE PACT, on your way to more fresh, original shores, but this one is definitely worth a look.

Far from the big budget bombast of INSIDIOUS, this low-budget chiller takes the more subtle route, raising hairs through claustrophobic camerawork and good old fashioned, 'less-is-more' dread.

In essence, THE PACT is a simply told haunted house story, and it does admittedly lack originality in its early scenes, but where it fails to impress as an original tale, it truly shines as an exercise is nuanced atmospherics and style.

Ghost stories will be with us forever, and there's only so many variations on the theme. Of late, filmmakers have to push themselves further in the idea department to keep an audience on their toes. What director Nicholas McCarthy sets his sights on in the first two acts is, instead, a deep sense of unease, punctuated by moments of stark, scary as hell horror. He's a man with a sure eye for what makes a truly frightening film work, and its evident from frame one that this guy has the skills to go all the way.

Horror Hotel Cinema : Night of the Eagle (1962)

A real classic here, folks.

I like to mix it up in the 'Hotel Cinema'. We all love some cheese in our diets, and there's little in life as fun as a good B-movie that misses every single target it aims for; but equally, there's little as satisfying as discovering a long-forgotten gem that's been buried by the sands of time.

I cam across NIGHT OF THE EAGLE by accident, sometime last year. I was researching the history of one of my all-time favorite films, NIGHT OF THE DEMON, when a link led me to this baby. Its reputation preceded it, so I had to have a look. I'm very glad I did.

While its not in the same league as Tournier's masterpiece, (in my mind), its still a very powerful and chilling work, that's as effective today as I'm sure it was on release. It deals with similar themes of witchcraft, black magic and the dark side of the supernatural, yet has a pretty darn original storyline that's all its own.

The atmosphere is fog-thick, and the sense of unease that grabs you as the tale unfolds is palpable. One thing though...any arachnophobic kids out there, (such as myself), had best steel themselves for a few nasty surprises. The first half of the film boasts a few eight-legged frights that almost made me turn it off. Get past that though, and you have a wonderful, lost gem that puts today's supernatural horror movies to shame.

The plot deals with a man who finds out his loving, devoted wife is actually a practicing witch; and on learning this, he sets that lady straight and has her turn away from all that voodoo nonsense. Bad idea, chum. Bad idea.

Dim the lights, fill the kids with Whiskey and throw them to bed, and get your ass seated for a classic.

Don't mention it...

Review : The Divide (2011)

Director:

Xavier Gens

Writers:

Karl Mueller, Eron Sheean

Stars:

Lauren German, Michael Biehn and Milo Ventimiglia

A strong opening is a tradition in horror. It sets the tone, get the audience's hearts pumping, and should give a good taste of what lies ahead. Xavier Gans' punishing end-of-the-world shocker,THE DIVIDE, has a very strong opening.

Our first stark images show the total destruction of New York, as the nukes finally fall and civilization as we know it bites the radioactive dust. We only catch a fleeting glimpse of the destruction taking place before we're thrust right along with our characters into the only damn place that may be in any way safe...the basement of their apartment building. It's either a dark dead-end, or immediate melting of the face, and the face melting may turn out to be a better option. The doors are shut and sealed with tape to keep the transparent radiation outside, (good luck with that), and our small band of shell-shocked everyday New Yorkers are left alone, literally, at a dead-end. As we all know, if you put a group of relatively civilized folk in a claustrophobic, end-times scenario with little food and water, and practically no hope for survival, the wild things will roar. Human decency becomes cheap, power becomes survival, sanity crumbles, and 'Gods chosen species' revert back to their true, base form. Let the good times roll....

Review : Undocumented (2010)

Director:

Chris Peckover

Writers:

Chris Peckover, Joe Peterson

Stars:

Scott Mechlowicz, Alona Tal and Yancey Arias

UNDOCUMENTED tell the pitch black tale of a group of American student film-makers who travel to Mexico in order to produce a documentary that details the plight of illegal immigrants, including a fly-on-the-wall look at the actual border crossing itself. As the group of students and a busload of Mexicans make their way into the Us, however, they are captured and detained by a militant extremist group from America, who have taken it upon themselves to rid the country of the 'scourge of immigration'. When they learn that six of the captives are American, and making a documentary, the decide that the kids will document their story, and deliver their message to the world, or suffer the consequences.

First time Writer/Director, Chris Peckover has crafted a debut film that really does impress. It seems to have gotten lost among the myriad torture porn bullshit that the genre has been flooded in, in recent years, but it's much more than just another HOSTEL rip-off. Actually, its far, far better than HOSTEL could ever hope to be, and has a great deal more intelligence and darkness to boot.

Review : The Awakening (2011)

 

Director:

Nick Murphy

Writers:

Stephen Volk, Nick Murphy

Stars:

Rebecca Hall, Dominic West and Imelda Staunton

1921 England is overwhelmed by the loss and grief of World War I. Hoax exposer Florence Cathcart visits a boarding school to explain sightings of a child ghost. Everything she knew in unravels as the 'missing' begin to show themselves. 

From the opening moments, Nick Murphy's THE AWAKENING sets its stall as a refreshingly old school, ghost story; the likes of which we rarely see anymore. It has that quintessential M.R James feel that only comes from the shores of the UK, and even then, rarely works as effectively as it does here. While billed as a horror film, THE AWAKENING really doesn't feel like one. Supernatural? Yes. Period drama with Gothic overtones? Definitely. Theres little here by way of genuine fear, though. This is as gentle and subtle, (for the most part) as our genre gets, and that's no bad thing here.

The film evokes fond memories of classic Hammer Productions, with its lavish sets and gentile English manner. Its charming from the very first moments, and boasts some beautifully atmospheric music to help set the somewhat sombre tone that carries the film through. We open on a seance taking place in turn of the century London, and boy does it look the part. In fact, the scene is effectively frightening up until the reveal, where it cleverly and quickly turns it gaze onto our central character. What we have here is a study of grief, loss and guilt, masquerading as a horror story. And it works.

Review : Skew (2011)

Director:

Sevé Schelenz

Writer:

Sevé Schelenz

Stars:

Rob Scattergood, Amber Lewis and Richard Olak

When Simon, Rich, and Eva head out on an eagerly anticipated road trip, they bring along a video camera to record their journey. What starts out as a carefree adventure slowly becomes a descent into the ominous as unexplained events threaten to disrupt the balance between the three close friends. Each one of them must struggle with personal demons and paranoia as friendships are tested and gruesome realities are revealed...and recorded.

As the 'quick-of-wit' among you may have deduced from the above synopsis, SKEW is a hand-held/found footage film....

I just wanted to get that straight right away. Now, I make no secrets of having a love for the handheld sub-genre, even though around 90% of the outcome of such ventures results in shit. When it works, it makes for a brilliantly immersive experience. And SKEW works.

Before I get into what makes this film so unique among its peers, I should first point out that the film was complete in 2005, and was in production for a number of years before that. Its not part of the current trend that our genre is awash in. Director, Seve Schelenz, has stated that THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was an inspiration, but this is in no way yet another cheap cash-in. There is very little that could be labelled 'bandwagonesque' about this little slice of horror. While the influence of BLAIR WITCH is clear, the path that SKEW takes is very, very clever, and makes for a surprisingly tense experience to boot. Seve has clearly taken the time and the care to craft a film that stands completely on its own terms. He never sacrifices intellect for scares, and he uses his miniscule budget to enhance the work, not allow it to hinder it.