Review : Wrong Turn 5 (2012)

WRONG TURN 5?

Did I miss the memo or something?

Last time I looked there was a WRONG TURN 2. I had no idea there was a Part 3 or a Part 4, or if I did, come across them, I may have blanked out the memory. Some shit is too painful to carry around in this world, so perhaps I'm suffering from some post traumatic head-fuck. Who knows.

Hell, maybe their worthwhile slasher films. The second one sure was. Plenty of fun to be had in that low-budget romp through the backwoods. In fact, in many ways it rose above the original. It lacked the tension that WRONG TURN boasted, but in taking itself way less seriously, it made for perfectly demented fun. A six-beer movie, best enjoyed while baked and with equally immature buddies.

Perhaps three and four follow suite. I'll need to look into it.

The law of diminishing returns dictates that each sequel will more than likely be a paired down version of what worked previously. Seems unlikely the second ones creativity could carry through to two more movies, never mind three. Such was my thinking...and that brings us to this installment.

In WRONG TURN 5, we find ourselves joining the revelers at the 'Mountain Man Festival', a music festival that we are informed is rivaling Lollopalooza in terms of size and crowd. Its held at Halloween, and the partygoers tend to dress up in fancy costumes, often as inbred redneck hillbillies. Meanwhile, deep in the surrounding woods, a trio of cannibals in badly designed inbred make-up are being raised by a relative and patriarch, (played by Pinhead, himself, if you can believe that shit). When some of the festival kids find themelves arrested alongside dear old Daddy, his boys come valiantly to his rescue. As the ugly bastards go about their jailbreak, the two parties clash in seriously violent fashion...

WRONG TURN 5 was nowhere near as awful as I assumed it would be. Perhaps my low expectations helped in swallowing this junk-food in one bite, but it really wasn't too painful an experience at all. Its cheesy as hell with some atrocious acting, (though not always) and is about as scary as STUART LITTLE, but it does relish in the violence, and at least tries to do something original with its worn down characters.

Speaking of which, I'm a little confused. Are these the same hillbilly face-chewers from the first and second film, because one of them looks just like the rat-faced mutant from part one? I'm guessing its simply a case of designing with familiarity in mind, but I can't say for sure. Again, I have to mention the makeup on these bozo's. THE WALKING DEAD this ain't. These mutant chaps look like their wearing cheap Halloween masks fashioned on the monster designs from the previous films. In short, they look like shit, but even this works in the films favor, as its very believable that these jokers could mingle with the costumed revelers without anyone believing their actually mutants. They fit in just fine with the festival folk, because they look every bit as shitty. Genius or ineptitude on the creators part? No idea...

There's very artistry on display here, and next to no tension, but the kills are vicious, often unexpected and the effects are handled pretty well, (with less reliance on cheap CG than many low-budget genre films these days). Call me a reprobate, but watching one of our mutants gutting a gal and feeding her her own intestines while a soft rock ballad plays in the background, is pretty damn entertaining. And a  scene featuring two trapped kids, a football field and a huge lawnmower is so way over the top its impossible not to laugh out loud. Very messy. Perhaps I was raised wrong.

Doug Bradley is great fun too...overacting like a hero, and spending most of the movie laughing his ass off 'evilly' and letting everyone know they're deader than disco when his clan comes to break him out of jail.  He's like a more pro-active harbinger. I always think of this cat as being very classy, and seeing him in a goofy-ass role like this is a blast.

The people who made WRONG TURN 5 knew what they were getting into. They know this ain't anything other than a good time. Kids will love it for the boobs and body parts, growth-stunted adults such as myself will enjoy it for the shameless sense of trashy fun. I found the whole thing hilarious. I mean, how often do you get to see a mutant cannibal hillbilly jailbreak?

Make no mistake, this is pure cheese. Nonsense of the lowest order, but its just dumb enough to be a riot if your in the right mood. It scores points for being the fifth film in a series and not sucking like a rent-boy. I'll maybe even go back and watch three and four now. Maybe.

And has anyone noticed how 'Rat-Mutants' insane giggling sounds just like the Jockey in LEFT 4 DEAD 2? Creepy....

6 Hair-lips out of 10

Review : The Barrens (2012)

A family man takes his wife and two kids on a camping trip into the wilds of New Jersey, with the intent to heal broken familial bonds and come to terms with the death of someone near and dear to him. No sooner has the fella and his tribe arrived, he starts seeing and hearing things, and comes to believe that the local legend of the 'Jersey Devil' may be much more than just a legend...

I felt a little guilty writing that synopsis. I really did. The reason why I felt so guilty is that THE BARRENS is not exactly a monster movie, and should never have been sold as one. A clearer and more accurate blurb for the film would be, 'one man goes shit-throwing crazy in the woods, while his family feel the fear'. This strange and uneven little horror tale is very much set in the genre of psychological thriller. I'm not spoiling anything for you guys, as its clear from ten minutes in that our lead is more than a little unhinged. Yes, they may or may not be a mythical beast involved, but this certainly isn't a film about said beastie. If you go in expecting the infamous Jersey Devil to be given its due, you'll be sorely dissapointed.

You have to hand it to director Bousman, (MOTHERS DAY, 11-11-11). He really does groove to his own tune. Despite flirting with the mainstream with SAW 3, he's since set out to make the movies and tell the stories that he wants to tell. It's admirable, if occasionally unsuccessful. His last film, 11-11-11, was cut off at the legs by some dreadful editing, but it it was clear that buried somewhere on the cutting room floor was a tense and original film. It shouldve been great, instead...it was a failure. THE BARRENS is certainly a good step up from that film, but we're once again faced with a work that is perhaps somewhat less than the sum of its parts.

I won't lie...when I heard about this film I envisioned a Laymonseque camping trip from hell, filled with old school violence, vicious maneaters, death by campfire and all round badassery. Thats just how my mind works. Its true that my disappointment may have colored my impression of the film, but I'm gonna try to leave this out of the equation and give this baby its dues on its own merits. Its a good film, and makes great use of a limited budget, but there are some problems...

The main problem with Bousman's latest lies in its storytelling.  It has some very accomplished performances, not least from its lead, and the entire family are interesting and likable, but something was lost in the writing. We know from the very start that the father is losing his grip on reality. Some poorly telegraphed dream sequences, ( I hate those damn things), give the game away right from the starting line, not to mention the mans propensity for looking alternately terror stricken or hate-filled, even when chilling with fellow campers and listening to some cool ghost stories. From the early scenes, we may not understand why this guy is where he is, but we see it clear as day, and it removes us from the story to find that his family seem, if not oblivious to his condition, then at least willfully blind to the severity of the poor bastards state. It seems a trite nonsensical that no one raises their arms early on in this film and procliams, 'Look man, lets just go fucking home already, and maybe fix Daddy up with a psychiatrist!'. This camping fiasco is doomed before the first sleeping bag is unrolled.

The pacing in the early scenes doesnt help either. Were it clear that this was a psychological study of dementia, then this wouldnt be a problem, but the chances are, most have come for some monster madness, and as its somewhere near forty five minutes before anything resembling real 'horror' occurs, it'll most likley leave a portion of genre viewers cold. Its a shame really, as if you stick with it, and if your aware of what your actually watching, THE BARRENS really starts to pick up in the second half. The fathers condition becomes clear and a true sense of threat enters the tale, perhaps from within the family, perhaps from without. You've come to care for this dysfunctional bunch quite a bit, and its in the finale that we get to the bloody heart of the matter. I wont say its too little too late, as the film is an accomplished work in many ways, its just that we aint getting what we paid for.

The locations that Bousman has chosen are stunning, and its in this one aspect that my expectations were fully met. I may not have gotten my cheap n cheerful Laymon style madness, but I sure as hell dug the woodland scenery. Its a truly beautiful film to look at. Despite its lack of real scares, the entire movie has the sort of killer atmosphere that you only seem to  find in 80's backwoods slashers, especially during a scene around a campfire, and the rain-soaked finale, both of which really shone. Bousman has the eye and the insight to create great horror, he just has to smooth out the editing, writing and pacing a little more.

As I write this, I'm coming to appreciate the film more for what it is. I'll be rating this one on a 'first veiwing' basis, but had my entrance to the film been of a different sort, I'm positive I would enjoy it a good deal more. In fact, I'm confident that this is a film that will be much more satisfying on second viewing than on first. Feel free to add an extra point to my rating for second viewing,

To summarize...THE BARRENS is a well told tale that simply makes the mistake of not setting its stall in the early scenes. It has bags of atmosphere, some creepy moments, great, (if occasionally overwrought), performances, and some nice twists along the way to keep you on your toes. Gore-hounds will find some kicks in the finale, and those who enjoy a good 'descent into lunacy' tale will find plenty to chew on. Is it a movie about man or monster? I ain't gonna divulge that information, but its in no way a proper look at the Jersey Devil. If you guys go in with the right attitude, you may come out pleasantly surprised. Go in with the wrong one and it may be a whole different story, much like THE BARRENS itself.

6 Gutted Deer out of 10 

Review : Nailbiter (2012)

 

Director:

Patrick Rea

Writers:

Patrick Rea, Kendal Sinn

Stars:

Joicie Appell, Emily Boresow and Jason Coffman

I first heard NAILBITER being described as being very much like an early X-Files episode. You know, one of those 'monster of the week' numbers that many of us enjoyed so much back in the day. And while its true that it is reminiscent of one of those ideas, NAILBITER, sadly, the comparison only runs as far as its idea's.

It begins promisingly enough, with a slightly dysfunctional family, (one mother, three daughters), being caught up in the eye of a tornado and having to take refuge in the basement of a seemingly abandoned house out in the countryside. Once the storm passes, the family find that they are not alone, and are being held against their will in the basement by someone/something unknown.

Review : Juan of the Dead (2011)

Director:

Alejandro Brugués

Writer:

Alejandro Brugués

Stars:

Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina and Andrea Duro

50 years after the Cuban Revolution, a new Revolution is about to begin.  

Meet Juan, a down on his luck Cuban living a life of simple means. Juan is the sort of guy who survives. He's survived wars, he's survived a marriage, he's survived poverty, and he's determined he's gonna survive the zombie apocalypse that has brought his home-city to ruins. Perhaps there's even money to be made....

Right off the bat, your probably thinking, 'Juan of the Dead? Its clearly a rip-off of Shaun of the Dead!', and no ones gonna blame you for that. Its what I thought.

Review : Vessel (2012) - Short film

Director - Clark Baker

I'm really developing a taste for these short movies.

Its a no lose situation. If the short sucks, you only lost ten minutes of your time on the planet, and if they're done well, you get a short sharp rush of horror adrenalin that wont eat up your day. Good stuff.

Its also the playground of invention. These young filmmakers have to cram a lot of shit into these little movies, both to give them the required depth and win over the audience, and to showcase their abilities behind the camera. Often, they run on ambition alone, and look very cheaply produced, but sometimes one comes along that looks and feels fully cinematic, in style and scope. VESSEL is one such short.

There's little to give away, but I still don't wanna spoil the fun, so all I'll say is it appears to take some influence from Sci-Fi horror classics such as ALIEN, INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS, THE THING and the much loved, William Shatner starring TWILIGHT ZONE episode, TERROR AT 20,000 FEET.

Most shorts stay very grounded due often to budgetary constraints, so for an indie director to set his short on a passenger jet, and feature extensive shots of his creature, a UFO and the airplane, is pretty damn brave. Luckily, Clark Baker has the chops to pull it off. VESSEL looks just great. The set design and lighting are impeccable, the performances are sound, there's a really professional soundtrack behind the whole thing that accentuates the tension, and last but not least, (and this is a crucial one), his monster looks excellent. A mixture of old school effects and well utilized CG help bring this semi Lovecraftian space bastard to life, and it never looks less that bad-ass.

Exclusive : Interview with THE LOST COAST TAPES Director, Corey Grant

I've made no secret of my rabid enthusiasm for the upcoming Bigfoot themed horror movie, THE LOST COAST TAPES. In truth, it had me at 'Bigfoot', yet as time's went on, it's grown to become my most anticipated movie of the year. The dedication of it's cast and crew, the found footage angle, (which you all know I'm a huge fan of), the mythos behind the legend of Sasquatch, and the authenticity-drenched location shoots in the awe-inspiring redwoods have all conspired to fuel my horror-fan fire.

When the one-sheets were released, it tipped me over the edge, (you can view those bad boys here!). The images, like the whole production, screamed professionalism, and showed a real understanding of what us horror weirdos are looking for in a Bigfoot movie. Atmospheric, creepy, and in the case of one of the posters, downright nasty.

The world needs more Bigfoot movies. Of course, there are now a few in the works, but THE LOST COAST TAPES Director/Producer, Corey Grant, and his fearless band of lunatics, have got their first, and look to have carved out a unique take on the legend. This is the one I'm waiting for.

Review : Undocumented (2010)

Director:

Chris Peckover

Writers:

Chris Peckover, Joe Peterson

Stars:

Scott Mechlowicz, Alona Tal and Yancey Arias

UNDOCUMENTED tell the pitch black tale of a group of American student film-makers who travel to Mexico in order to produce a documentary that details the plight of illegal immigrants, including a fly-on-the-wall look at the actual border crossing itself. As the group of students and a busload of Mexicans make their way into the Us, however, they are captured and detained by a militant extremist group from America, who have taken it upon themselves to rid the country of the 'scourge of immigration'. When they learn that six of the captives are American, and making a documentary, the decide that the kids will document their story, and deliver their message to the world, or suffer the consequences.

First time Writer/Director, Chris Peckover has crafted a debut film that really does impress. It seems to have gotten lost among the myriad torture porn bullshit that the genre has been flooded in, in recent years, but it's much more than just another HOSTEL rip-off. Actually, its far, far better than HOSTEL could ever hope to be, and has a great deal more intelligence and darkness to boot.

Review : Night of the Living Dead 3D- Re-Animation (2012)

Director:

Jeff Broadstreet

Writers:

Jeff Broadstreet, Robert Valding 

Stars:

Andrew Divoff, Jeffrey Combs and Sarah Lieving

After inheriting the family mortuary, a pyrophobic mortician accidentally exposes hundreds of un-cremated bodies to toxic medical waste. As the corpses re-animate, the mortician's inheritance-seeking younger brother unexpectantly shows up, stumbling upon a full zombie outbreak!
Andrew Divoff. Jeffrey Combs...

Those names above are two of a very select few reasons anyone could ever conjure up to entice me to watch a film titled NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, these days. Since Tom Savini's excellent re-working of George Romero's classic game-changer, its been a downward spiral into serious shitsville. You gotta feel sorry for poor old George. Having been royally fucked over by the system and watching his masterpiece fall into the dreaded 'Public Domain', where it can be reworked, re-envisioned, remade and fucked in its already tormented ass just that little bit deeper.

I still have sour taste in my mouth from purchasing the 'Dead Trilogy' only to find it featured a '25 Anniversary Edition' of NOTLD. My eyeballs, (and possibly my eternal soul), are scarred to this day. Romero's classic had been tampered with to the point of destroying the film entirely; new and godawful music, new and utterly fucking terrible scenes and continuity that would make Ed Wood blush, made a mockery of the dark nihilism that Romero's wonderful film evoked. It hurt me like a swift kick to the balls, so I can only imagine the sheer volume of Scotch that was downed at the Romero house when that little ditty found its way into the public realm. Romero's a chill guy, but someone doing that to your art would drive anyone to alcohilism.

Review : Skew (2011)

Director:

Sevé Schelenz

Writer:

Sevé Schelenz

Stars:

Rob Scattergood, Amber Lewis and Richard Olak

When Simon, Rich, and Eva head out on an eagerly anticipated road trip, they bring along a video camera to record their journey. What starts out as a carefree adventure slowly becomes a descent into the ominous as unexplained events threaten to disrupt the balance between the three close friends. Each one of them must struggle with personal demons and paranoia as friendships are tested and gruesome realities are revealed...and recorded.

As the 'quick-of-wit' among you may have deduced from the above synopsis, SKEW is a hand-held/found footage film....

I just wanted to get that straight right away. Now, I make no secrets of having a love for the handheld sub-genre, even though around 90% of the outcome of such ventures results in shit. When it works, it makes for a brilliantly immersive experience. And SKEW works.

Before I get into what makes this film so unique among its peers, I should first point out that the film was complete in 2005, and was in production for a number of years before that. Its not part of the current trend that our genre is awash in. Director, Seve Schelenz, has stated that THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was an inspiration, but this is in no way yet another cheap cash-in. There is very little that could be labelled 'bandwagonesque' about this little slice of horror. While the influence of BLAIR WITCH is clear, the path that SKEW takes is very, very clever, and makes for a surprisingly tense experience to boot. Seve has clearly taken the time and the care to craft a film that stands completely on its own terms. He never sacrifices intellect for scares, and he uses his miniscule budget to enhance the work, not allow it to hinder it.

News : Independent Short - The Prospectors Curse (2012)

Hi friends.

I'm always up for some new horror shorts, especially since the internet has reduced my attention span to that of a goldfish.

With this is mind, I wanted to take the opportunity to draw your attention to a new little number that will be coming our way very soon. This one sounds like a lot of fun. To be honest, I've only really discovered shorts these past few years, and have came to love them for what they are. In fact, they often surpass their full-length peers in both quality and content. Just look at DEUS IRAE to see how damned good the format can be.

Review : Rage (2010)

Director:

Chris Witherspoon

Writer:

Chris Witherspoon

Stars:

Audrey Walker, Rick Crawford and Chris Witherspoon 

A thirty something man who lives in a suburb just outside of Portland says goodbye to his beautiful and loving wife and heads into town. There he unintentionally provokes the wrath of a mysterious motorcyclist. The confrontation between the two, sets in motion a day long battle. Beginning in the form of harmless taunts then quickly escalating into something more serious and then into something unimaginable.

Just when you thought it was safe to piss off a biker....

Reviewing a truly independent work can be a tricky business. As a fan, you want to help the artist reach as large an audience as possible, yet as a critic, you have the duty, and the trust of your readership, to tell the whole truth, for good or ill.

For me, I tend to view low budget, indie films within the bounds of their limitations. I look for the good in them, and I give credence where its due. If they don't quite hit the mark, I usually point out the fact that these films were made under the most demanding of circumstances, while being more than ready to note that imagination, and skill, can overcome any hurdle. Many of these small, humble films have to be judged on their own terms, and within their own space. Not so, with Christopher Witherspoon's RAGE. This one needs no such support frame.

Review : The Innkeepers (2011)

Director:

Ti West

Writer:

Ti West

Stars:

Sara Paxton, Pat Healy and Kelly McGillis

During the final days at the Yankee Pedlar Inn, two employees determined to reveal the hotel's haunted past begin to experience disturbing events as old guests check in for a stay. 

I had seriously high expectations going into Ti West's latest spook-show, and who could blame me? The last time this guy had full control of a production, he created one of the decades creepiest, most atmospheric movies, in HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. Its practically languid pace may not have appealed to every Horror fan, but for an old school guy like yours truly, it was just what the Mad Doctor ordered. West instantly became a Director who's work I had to see. I fell over myself to catch CABIN FEVER 2, and while I believe he disowned the film, (after much studio-fuckery), you can still feel his capable hands all over it. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and can only imagine what would or could have been, had the studio heads done the seemingly impossible (for some of them), and allowed an artist to create art.

Word had it that with THE INNKEEPERS, West was once again in full control of his raising his baby. And given that the plot involves a couple of would-be paranormal investigators spending a few nights in a haunted hotel. I was all over this thing. The one-sheet, as you can see above, was also a factor in my months long salivation problem. For my money, this was the must-see Horror of the year.

Review : The Loved Ones (2009)

Director:

Sean Byrne

Writer:

Sean Byrne

Stars:

Xavier Samuel, Robin McLeavy and Victoria Thaine

After the tragic death of his Father in a crash in which he was driving, Brent has become a shell of his former self. Redemption may come in the form of his patient and loving girlfriend, but Brent has bigger issues to contend with...

Prom Night is approaching, and Brent has caught the eye of a quiet, awkward girl in his class. When he respectfully turns down her invitation to the dance, she devises a plan to make sure she has her perfect Prom Night, and Brent's going to be her date, whether he likes it or not...

I admit it. I honestly thought the much maligned 'Torture Porn' sub genre had ten shades of nothing left to show us. I mean, lets be honest, it wasn't really any damn good in the first place. I quite like a number of the films that truly deserve to fall under the umbrella of 'Torture', but at best, they've been guilty pleasures, and at worst, they've been HOSTEL 2. Pointless, banal, cheap and suffering from a severe case of 'No-Balls'. 

There are plenty of films that can arguably be fit into the sub-genre, which have real merit, meaning and worth. AUDITION, I SAW THE DEVIL, and MARTYRS all immediately spring to mind as films that transcend the label while being perhaps inspired by its possibilities. Now, its a stretch calling these films 'Torture Porn', and its actually pretty derogatory. These films feature prolonged bouts of agonising violence, but that's far from all they have to offer. A movie like HOSTEL 2, or the SAW series, (which I enjoy for what they are), are really little more than titillation for the gore lover that resides in most genre fans. Those films ain't art, no matter what your smoking. MARTYRS on the other hand....

Review : The Dead (2010)

 

Directors:

Howard J. Ford, Jonathan Ford

Writers:

Howard J. Ford, Jonathan Ford

Stars:

Elizabeth Akingbade, Benjamin C. Akpa and Stephen Asare Amaning

When the last evacuation flight out of war-torn Africa crashes off the coast, an American Air Force Engineer emerges as the sole survivor in a land where the dead are returning to life and attacking the living.
 

Is there any sub-genre that's had more ups and downs than the Zombie film? Well, yes, there probably is, but lets be honest here, the zombie movie swings from high to low almost as frequently as the works of Dario Argento. Sure, quality tongue-in-cheek zombie films are far from a rarity, but the number of truly exceptional, serious takes on the subject is a very small one. For every bright beacon of hope, (THE WALKING DEAD), we get a whole slew of sub-par bullshit. And with the advent of the so-called 'adaptation' of Max Brook's wonderful WORLD WAR Z looking like its going to drag the undead movie's back into the gutter, its a breath of fresh air, and a real relief, to come across a serious take on zombie's. And that's exactly what we get with THE DEAD.

Review : A Horrible Way To Die (2010)

Director:

Adam Wingard

Writer:

Simon Barrett

Stars:

AJ Bowen, Amy Seimetz and Joe Swanberg

An escaped murderer is in pursuit of his ex-girlfriend, who has fled to start a new life in a small town.

The first thing your gonna notice when you sit back to watch A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE is the camerawork. To call it restless would be one hell of an understatement. Excluding anything directed by Peter Greengrass, (who's constant overuse of shaking camera pisses me off and ruins every single film he directs), I'm actually very tolerant of the technique. In fact, I rather enjoy it if its used accordingly. In AHWTD its used constantly and is occasionally so distracting that it defeats its intent and actually removes you from the film rather than immerses you. Even for me, this pushed the boundaries a little. Sometimes it's beautiful, lending a naturalism to the film that otherwise would be missing, and I'll go out on a limb and say that in the grand scheme of things its benificial to the story being told; yet it can pull you out of the film, and it can frustrate you, when all you wanna do is focus on the performances. If your in any way anti-shaky-cam, your going to have a hard time getting through this one. Adam Wingard has took a real risk with his decision to use this technique. It's going to alienate a sizable number of viewers, yet if you can look past it theres a whole hell of a lot to enjoy.

Review : Creature (2011)

 

Director:

Fred Andrews

Writers:

Tracy Morse, Fred Andrews

Stars:

Mehcad Brooks, Serinda Swan and Daniel Bernhardt

 

In the back country of Louisiana, a group of friends unearth a terrible secret that unleashes a monster from the depths of the swamp. 


Louisiana bayou. Rubber monster suit. Lesbianism. Pretty girls getting butt naked. Incest.

If all the above terms and words sound appealing, (perhaps not the final one), then you've came to the right place. CREATURE is a film so unashamedly bad, so ridiculously plotted, paced and edited, that its a miracle it ever made it anywhere near the silver screen, never mind 1,500 cinemas. This film does just about everything it sets out to do with an almost artistic level of ineptitude. Its trash from beginning to end, and anyone who enjoys this sort of nonsense needs their head looked at. I recommend it wholeheartedly. How could I not?

Review : The Orphan Killer (2011)

 

Director:

Matt Farnsworth

Writer:

Matt Farnsworth

Stars:

Diane Foster, David Backus and Matt Farnsworth


Marcus Miller is a serial murderer hellbent on teaching his estranged sister Audrey what it means to have family loyalty. His lessons are taught in massive doses of vulgar and unimaginable pain. Throughout her brutal torture we learn that Marcus is not the only Miller with Killer in the bloodline as Audrey proves to be a formidable adversary.

Old school slashers. We all love em. Who can resist a masked maniac happily going about his business of hacking up some mediocre actors? I know I can't. And while I'm sometimes a little unforgiving if I have a lot invested in the slaughter, (see my COLD PREY 3 review here), I am, for the most part, very open to the many flaws to be found within the sub-genre. In fact, many of the 'flaws' can be beneficial to the work. The young kids trying (too hard usually) to make their mark in the acting world are sometimes far more endearing for their lack of experience. And, as its a sub-genre that truly belongs in the 'low' to 'seriously low' budget bracket, the creators have to work far harder, often producing surprisingly impressive results. And much like LAID TO REST seduced us with its creative kills and cooler than ice lunatic, THE ORPHAN KILLER seeks to win the slasher fan over with great visuals and an yet another instantly memorable nutcase.

Review : Bereavement (2010)

Director: 

Stevan Mena

Writer:

Stevan Mena

Stars:

Alexandra Daddario, Michael Biehn and Peyton List

The horrific account of 6 year old Martin Bristol, abducted from his backyard swing and forced to witness the brutal crimes of a deranged madman. 


Just take a look at the BEREAVEMENT one-sheet. Is it any wonder I was excited to see this bad boy? Its a startling image, and it caught my attention and fueled my imagination on sight. That was a year ago. I had no idea the film was a prequel to a well respected low-budget slasher by the same writer/director until I decided to give it a whirl. The original, MALEVOLENCE, tells the tale of a serial killer who is impervious to pain. He can't feel it, period. You could cut this guys nuts off while averting his eyes and he'd be none the wiser, (although if you were in his vicinity, you'd probably most likely be dead or dying, and the only nuts getting chopped off would be your own). Its a cool slice of reasoning for why our slashers just keep getting back up, and I wish I'd heard of the film earlier, because frankly, it sounds pretty fine.

Review : Chromeskull - Laid to Rest 2 (2011)

Director:
 

Robert Hall

Writers:

Kevin Bocarde, Robert Hall

Stars:

Nick Principe, Angelina Armani and Zachary Alden Baker

When we last saw Chromeskull, he'd had his face melted and his head caved in via baseball bat. Not a fun situation to find oneself in. Now, with Chromeskull catching up on some much needed rest, his second in command, Preston is sent out to finish the job he started and tie up loose ends. But Preston has ideas of his own about who should be running this show...

The first time I saw LAID TO REST, I was immediately charmed by its antagonist. The Skull faced, camera wielding headcase known as Chromeskull was, and is, a slasher for the ages. Theres a real lack of truly iconic killers in the genre these days, and alongside Babyface from THE HILLS RUN RED, our knife happy pal was one of the few masked killers who's image alone made him eminently watchable. Shame then that his stomping ground was a film so mired in terrible acting and ridiculous plot developments that took the viewer straight out of the experience. It was a strange mash-up of brilliant ideas and half baked execution. Let me rephrase that, the only thing that was not 'half baked' in LAID TO REST was the execution. The kills were beautiful to behold, and stand among the greatest ever put onscreen in a modern slasher. I've seen the film a few times since, usually with a beer in hand and a group of buddies round to enjoy the bloodshed. You ever drank far too much and slept with someone you know is trash, but you just couldn't resist? LAID TO REST is like that. You'll have fun with it when your trashed out of your skull, but you'll wake up feeling guilty come the dawn.

Review : The Devil's Rock (2011)

Director:

Paul Campion

Writers:

Paul Finch (screenplay), Paul Campion (screenplay)

Stars:

Craig Hall, Matthew Sunderland and Gina Varela

Set in the Channel Islands on the eve of D Day, two Kiwi commandos, sent to destroy German gun emplacements to distract Hitler's forces away from Normandy, discover a Nazi occult plot that may help them win the war once and for all. 


Hands up those of you who don't get giddy at the idea of a Horror movie dealing with Nazi's and the occult. Anyone? Didn't think so. These two concepts are as endlessly fascinating today as they were when Micheal Mann directed THE KEEP, or when good old Indiana Jones was tackling the bastards back in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, and THE LAST CRUSADE. There is something inherently attractive about such a dark subject matter, even when its handled lightly, as in the Indiana Jones film's. It's widely known that Hitler had a compulsion towards the occult, and took the whole thing very seriously, adding an element of reality to any film that focuses on the subject. Sure its all fanciful stuff, but the viewer often find themselves asking that most eternal of all Horror fans internal questioning. What if?