Review : The Tall Man (2012)

Director:

Pascal Laugier

Writer:

Pascal Laugier

Stars:

Jessica Biel, Jodelle Ferland and Stephen McHattie
When her child goes missing, a mother looks to unravel the legend of the Tall Man, an entity who allegedly abducts children. 

I picked a damn good time to return to horror.

In my extended hiatus, I managed to miss every single tidbit of news, hype and hearsay on this one. Its came at me out of nowhere, and to learn that this film was written and directed by none other than Pascal Laugier, he of MARTYRS infamy, (review here), was a gift from the dark gods.

THE TALL MAN, is, in fact, Laugier's first film since MARTYRS was burned into our souls forevermore; and whether that film disgusted or delighted, (or both), few would deny that his follow-up work would garner a significant degree of excitement among genre fans. I can't fathom how I never heard of this thing.

Anyway, onto the review...

Review : Juan of the Dead (2011)

Director:

Alejandro Brugués

Writer:

Alejandro Brugués

Stars:

Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina and Andrea Duro

50 years after the Cuban Revolution, a new Revolution is about to begin.  

Meet Juan, a down on his luck Cuban living a life of simple means. Juan is the sort of guy who survives. He's survived wars, he's survived a marriage, he's survived poverty, and he's determined he's gonna survive the zombie apocalypse that has brought his home-city to ruins. Perhaps there's even money to be made....

Right off the bat, your probably thinking, 'Juan of the Dead? Its clearly a rip-off of Shaun of the Dead!', and no ones gonna blame you for that. Its what I thought.

Review : The Troll Hunter (2010)

 

Director:

André Øvredal

Writers:

André Øvredal, Håvard S. Johansen (contributing writer)

Stars:

Otto Jespersen, Robert Stoltenberg and Knut Nærum

A group of students investigates a series of mysterious bear killings, but learns that there are much more dangerous things going on. They start to follow a mysterious hunter, learning that he is actually a troll hunter.

Andre Ovredal's THE TROLL HUNTER is the definition of unique. A found footage film that combines fear, fairy-tales, action and atmosphere; blending real suspense with some very humorous scenarios. Its a movie aiming to meld documentarian realism to a fantastical story. A travelogue through Middle Earth via the breathtaking landscapes of Norway. A comedic adventure. An old school monster movie, and, finally, a look at belief and wonderment, and the importance of holding onto those feelings.

The film opens in the usual 'found footage' stylee, with a few solemn words silently filling the screen to set the tone. we're informed that the footage is indeed 'found' and that the creators are missing in action. The footage, we're told, is as it was found, in sequence and un-tampered with, (other than being edited down for time, of course), and then, we're off...

Horror Hotel Cinema : Valentines Midnight Show - Shutter (2004)

It's Valentines Day. And what better gift for Hotel Management to give you lovebirds, than some old-school, ghostly goings on, that'll have you holding each other close in the small hours of the night? For tonight's midnight show, we would like to introduce, or at least re-acquaint you, with the pant-soilingly scary, and altogether excellent SHUTTER.

Before you start sending the hate mail, and hand your ticket, (and lube) back, let me take a moment to assure you that you are NOT about to suffer through some poorly scripted, terribly acted, artless, gormless and utterly shallow piece of celluloid trash that couldn't scare a fucking cat on acid. No....this is the original SHUTTER. You know, the good one, the one with potent themes of Karma, guilt and retribution? Yeah, that one. Not the bastardised-beyond-all-Thunderdome remake that burned eyes and minds in the states a few years later, and forever tarnished the originals legacy.

Review : Haute Tension (2003)

 

 

Director:

Alexandre Aja

Writers:

Alexandre Aja, Grégory Levasseur

Stars:

Cécile De France, Maïwenn Le Besco and Philippe Nahon

Two college friends, Marie and Alexa, encounter loads of trouble (and blood) while on vacation at Alexa's parents' country home when a mysterious killer invades their quiet getaway. 

I was recently asked by a reader if I could review HAUTE TENSION for them, and it struck me as a great idea. Not only would it be nice to re-watch this hardcore classic, but it would afford me a chance at last to voice some issues I have with the film. Before I go into detail, I should mention that HAUTE TENSION is a film that holds a particularly special place in my heart. For me, it was a key moment in cinema, for a number of reasons. Its a film I love to this day, and a film that in some ways infuriates me. Its complicated, but stick with me and I'll try and explain.

Review : Cold Prey 3

Director:

Mikkel Brænne Sandemose

Writers:

Lars Gudmestad, Peder Fuglerud

Stars:

Ida Marie Bakkerud, Kim S. Falck-Jørgensen and Pål Stokka

Oh sweet Jesus. Where do I begin with whats wrong with this film? COLD PREY and its sequel were excellent examples of the slasher movie. Those two films were about as tight as slasher movies get unless they're being directed by John Carpenter in 1978. The first one was, for all intents and purposes, the first horror film to come out of Norway, and it was pretty much a perfect example of how this sub-genre can be made to work in the right hands. It had it all. An amazing location, that echoed THE SHINING's Overlook Hotel, a cast of very capable actors, a very tight script and a fearsome 'masked maniac'. Along with its equally excellent sequel that took place directly after the original, over one long night in the hospital where we follow the previous film's, 'final girl', (HALLOWEEN 2 baby!), it took the slasher away from SCREAM's post modernism and placed it firmly in the realm of reality. Both films are lean, tight and scary thrillers. In fact, viewed back to back, these two films make a perfect three hour epic that hits all the right notes. Now on to part three in the franchise, although I'm loathe to call it that...

Review : Martyrs ( 2008 )

A young woman's quest for revenge on those she believes abducted and tortured her when she was a child leads both herself and her closest friend into an unending nightmare that will take them to the darkest regions of human suffering..

Ive had to wait quite some time to review MARTYRS. Its been on my mind to give my thoughts on this piece for a long time now. Ive viewed it four times since its release, and Ive played it over and over in my mind. Finally after all this time Ive came to understand how I actually feel about the film.

I'll say right off the bat that this is a masterfully made work, with wonderful performances from all involved. Director Pascal Laugier has very rightly been hailed as a master of both cinema and the horror genre. He's created a rare beast with this film. A piece that's beyond genre and that's as beautifully crafted as anything out there. He's very quickly become one of the trailblazers for the French New Wave of horror that's taken the world by its throat and shown us the true nature of fear. He excels here. As the young leads Lucie and Anna, respectively, both Mylene Jampanoi and Morjana Alaouiare are fantastic. Mylenes 'Lucie' is a tragic and fearful figure, desperate and doomed. As a counterpoint, Morjana's 'Anna' is gentle, loving and infinitely compassionate. The relationship between these two opposites is, for much of our tale, the driving force. Lighting and cinematography are just as stark as a film of this calibre requires without being distracting, and the music veers wildly from experimental freakouts, to giallo-esque rock rhythm's, to all out mournful requiems. It all fits. MARTYRS is the whole package. Now, with the rest of the review I'll try and express how it FEELS, because MARTYRS is all about feeling. It goes beyond being simply a film and veers into territories uncharted. Its been compared to HELLRAISER, and to PASSION OF THE CHRIST, among others. None of these films comes close. Neither in terms of horror or in terms of spiritual catharsis.

MARTYRS is the sort of cinematic experience very few will say they enjoy. In fact, its very much the sort of experience, cinematic or otherwise, that most will never wish to go through again. The questions that arise in ones head as they watch this film are reason enough to avoid it in the future, not to mention the images that are burned into your mind or the feelings of despair the film can inspire in even the lightest of souls. This is not a film to be entered into blithely.


MARTYRS is something of a transcendent experience. Its a work of pure art masquerading as a horror film. That it works completely as both an art house study of the human state, AND as a hyper violent and often terrifying horror film, are just two of its many, many wonders. Its a horror film. A story of redemption through suffering. An analysis of religious extremism. A look at the after effects of child abuse. A journey into guilt. It draws the viewer in from frame one and pulls you kicking and screaming into the darkness, and it never stops to see how your holding up, nor does it care.

If your new to this film, be sure to go in blind. The less you know the more powerful and shocking the many twists and turns are. Its cinema as catharsis, and as such, you'll want to be open to its rewards and its sorrows. Be prepared for some very tough scenes. There is serious human degradation here, none of which I'll speak of as each act of violence is as important to the films message as is its overall theme. Like IRREVERSIBLE, there have been outcries of exploitation and gore-nography since its release, but these are merely means by which to attempt to categorise something which cannot and will not fit into any previous cinematic mould. You may love it, you may hate it. You may simply respect it from afar as many I know who have viewed it seem to. Like a wild animal, both beautiful and deadly. One thing I'm absolutely sure you will never do is forget it. MARTYRS tattoos itself onto your soul. Its without doubt one of the most disturbing stories ever put to film, yet somehow, in some inconceivable way, MARTYRS is beautiful. There is hope here. There is love, and in some imperceptible way there is gentleness is even the most extreme scenes of heartbreaking tragedy.

After viewing this stunning work repeatedly, Ive found its lost none of its power. I believe all great art shines a light into our own existence and if we allow it, into our own soul. Yet some art is so fearless, so determined to break us free of our mental bonds and chains, that it changes how we view the world entirely. This is one such work. MARTYRS stays with us. And like that poor wretched woman who haunts our heroine, Lucie, its horrific, heartbreaking, disgusting, tender and quietly beautiful all in one moment.

MARTYRS is a masterpiece.

10 Beautiful Horrors out of 10

Review : Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale ( 2010 )

When an archaeological dig uncovers a long hidden secret beneath the Korvatunturi mountains, and children begin disappearing, a young boy begins to suspect that Santa Claus may be real, and truly does know who's been naughty and who's been nice. And the real Santa doesn't look too kindly on those who are naughty...

More and more it seems we have to turn to foreign filmmakers to get our fix as genre fans. The west hits it out the park on occasion, but what seems to missing is that real spark of ingenuity. That truly independent spirit. Its found these days in the dark dramas from the East, or the Gallic blood drenched nightmares of the French. It seems we're falling behind for the most part when it comes to blazing new trails in horror, and that's a shame. But fuck, at least there are people out there pushing all the buttons our homegrown directors seem so afraid to push. We need works like RARE EXPORTS to remind us why we fell in love with the genre in the first place, and goddamn it, to give us hope! This time, its down to Finnish director, Jalmari Helander to show us how shits done right.

I was lucky enough to catch RARE EXPORTS on its very short run in my home city of Glasgow. The theatre was practically empty, yet everyone who was lucky enough to be 'in the know' about this film came out with smiles from ear to ear. Its most definitely a crowd pleaser.

EXPORTS is a short, sharp blast of old school horror, blended perfectly with the sort of 'kids in peril' films many of us grew up loving in the 80's. Its got a wholly original concept, a cast of characters as memorable as they are authentic, beautiful scenery and a villain that genuinely will send chills down your spine. Its also a bona fide seasonal treat, and I believe it will be looked at in retrospect as a classic of the festive season.

Don't let the films rating deter you. Yes, its a mostly bloodless affair, but what it lacks in gore and mayhem it makes up for in atmosphere and dread. The tension in this film is palpable, and yet the whole thing manages to have a breezy innocence about it that's irresistible to both horror fans AND Christmas movie fans. Will this ever find its way into the hearts of the masses and be played on loop over the holidays? Most likely not. Its far too dark an adventure for that. But it WILL find its audience. A horror film this unique in both concept and execution is a very rare thing. And it should be celebrated.

Performances are pitch perfect as well. Our two main characters being a father and son, living a harsh existence in the Korvatunturi mountains of Finland. They're plight is one that will surely win you over. The son, fearing for his very life as the creeping realisation comes upon him that Santa Claus may very well be real, and not at all like the coco-cola version we're all so used to.  Onni Tommilla, as young Pietari, holds his own against the more experienced performers that surround him. He carries the film with ease, and his growth over the story is very well played out. From terrified victim, (check out the bear traps at the foot of the chimney),  to pint sized action hero all within a brisk 84 minute run time. And his father, played brilliantly by Jorma Tommilla, (relation?), has an equally satisfying story arc, which I wont divulge here. Suffice to say there is death, fear and dread here, but theres also hope and gentility. And yes, when all is said and done it IS a Christmas movie, and a damned good one at that.

The movies one downside for many will be the directors choice to keep a certain image from the audience, one which you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat waiting to see. For me this worked, just as it has in many savvy films before it. After all, theres nothing more terrifying than your own imagination, ESPECIALLY if your a seasoned horror fanatic.

RARE EXPORTS succeeds where so many lesser Christmas horrors fail. Its at once a genuinely scary experience and a heartwarming tale of hope and faith around the winter season. Don't miss it.

8.5 Naked Pensioners out of 10

(Authors note: Be sure to check out the directors original shorts online.  I'd wait till after viewing the film itself so as to avoid spoilers. Just a heads up, folks)

Review : I Saw the Devil (2010)

"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you"
Friedrich Nietzsche

When a secret service agents wife and unborn child are brutally slain in an act of sickening violence, he begins a campaign of torment upon the man responsible; a serial killer with absolutely no bounds. Yet as he rains down hurt after hurt on the man who destroyed his life, he risks becoming just the thing he seeks to annihilate.

I SAW THE DEVIL is the sixth full length feature film from Korean director, Jee-woon Kim, the man responsible for the critically acclaimed A TALE OF TWO SISTERS. Here he spreads his black wings in seriously impressive fashion. Creating a film that truly lives up to its rather brilliant title. Where as TWO SISTERS was all subtlety and nuance, DEVIL is a firestorm of violence, heartbreak and hopelessness. Its also for my money the most entertaining, exciting and damned near perfect film of the year.

Two things got me interested in this film way back during production. One was the director and the other was one of the two men who carry the film. The endlessly brilliant Min-sik Choi. I was first introduced to Choi in the cult classic OLDBOY, and have loved his work ever since. Hes a guy who pulls no punches in his performances, and his screen presence is formidable. In I SAW THE DEVIL , he reaches new highs, (or lows), in his scathing performance as a morally bankrupt, utterly despicable killer, Kyung-chul. The things this bastard gets up to in this film will sicken you, and yet he remains human. Disgustingly so. He never feels like a movie villain. He simply seems real. This animal could live right around the corner, and his acts are, sadly, very much based in reality. He is the jet black demonic yang to Byung-hun Lee's yin. As Kim-Soo Hyeon, a secret service agent who's looking to the future with hope and joy until his world is brutally torn asunder. Lee's performance is equally impressive. His calm restrained demeanor hides a torrent of hatred and hurt inside him, which he cannot control, nor wants to. His driving force becomes vengeance, and jesus, does he lay it on heavy.

Both wonderful leads are surrounded by a pitch perfect cast who flesh the whole sordid, sickening world out very convincingly. A standout being Gook-hwan Jeon, as Kim-Soo's father in law. His portrayal of parent grieving the loss of his daughter is beautifully played. His relationship with his son in law is strengthened by mutual despair, but he also works within the piece as a counterpoint to Kim-Soo's unending hunger for vengeance. Unlike his son in law, his moral compass remains intact. Where is the point when teh quest for honor becomes one of shame? What is the nature of justice and who has the right to decide on it? Can an act of vengeance ever lead to any real form of redemtion? Its this sort of inherent intelligence that helps I SAW THE DEVIL soar way above the pack. Its a very stark study of grief and loss and its effects on the human psyche and soul, that just happens to be played out in a world full of violence, confusion and injustice.

AND in I SAW THE DEVIL, the violence comes fast and hard. Within a few minutes of the stark, creepy opening credits, you find yourself thrown in at the deep end, and you never get to come up for air for the entire two and a half hour running time. Its like a roller coaster ride through hell. And damn, is it a tough watch. The violence here is very much grounded in reality. Its painful, unflinching and it always comes with a consequence. I was particularly disturbed by the discovery of mutilated boody of Kim-soo's wife. I wont go into detail but its deeply haunting and feels incredibly real. People go through this sort of nightmare all the time in our societies. And seeing it visually realized so authentically really done a number on me. From that point on I found myself screaming for revenge, just as Kim-Soo does. And THAT is fine directing. Your placed in the mindset of our 'hero', and willing him on to make Kyung's life a living hell. Your with him all the way. The director knows that the catharisis wont be complete unless the audience is fully complicit, and has set about creating a fearless work of cinema that never shies away from showing atrocities on both sides. You may find yourself questioning how far YOU would go to reclaim justice for those you love. That the crazy as fuck Kyung seems to relish this battle of wits and human tolerance only serves to deepen the conflict, and enhance the murky waters of its ultimate message.

It should be said though that there is no glamorising of either violence or revenge in I SAW THE DEVIL. Quite the opposite. The main thrust of the message here is the dynamic between good and evil, and how someones goodness can be eroded in the face of the worlds horrors. And the message is very well realised. Its not a gore movie. You'll have seen far more violent films, but like the amazing INSIDE, they rarely FEEL more violent. I wont go into the myriad ways the human body is subjected to torment here, but its the sheer relentless realism of it all that cuts so deep.  The violence is deplorable, but thats the whole point. There is great evil on display here, and its fucking chilling.


Now it may sound as though I SAW THE DEVIL is perhaps too tough to sit through, and this is where I think its true genius lies. Its a hard as hell movie, but when its all over and done and the final devestating image is burned into your mind, you'll be wishing it hadn't ended. Rarely will you see a film that blends stunningly choreographed mixed martial arts fight scenes with gut churning gore, real dramatic weight, thought provoking substance and yes, even some very funny, if extremely dark moments. Its a perfectly realized film and hits every single mark it aims for dead on. The leads are incredible, the script is brilliant, the soundtrack is on point and the direction flawless. The film just flies by.

Jee-woon Kim has proven himself a master of the genre here, and I'll be following all his work very closely from this day onward. For those who can handle this sort of material, its one of the very best you ll ever see. Its a fearless study of unthinkable evil and a tale of justice, revenge and redemption.(or lack thereof),  played out on an epic scale. You literally cant miss this film. I SAW THE DEVIL is a modern masterpiece that dares to explore the darkest reaches of the human soul, and gazing into the abyss has rarely been as hypnotic or riveting.

10 Sliced Tendons out of 10